Andrias Yose

      Someone asked me in a plane, "Why do you want to go to the Olympic 2008 in China?" "What’s with the Olympic?"

      I replied, "Actually, no reason in particular. Nothing special at all that makes me want to go to the Olympic or China."

      It doesn’t matter for me whether I go to the Great Wall or other parts of China or the Olympic. My mental state’s different than it was years ago.

      It is, however, a matter of fulfilling the goals I set for myself years ago.

      Wherever I am, as long as the state of my mind and inner feelings are tranquil, it doesn’t matter where I go or do not go.

      O, March 30th 2006 is Hindu’s national holiday known as Hari Nyepi (Silent-Day). Not Deepavali, rite?

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Andrias Y.

March 31, 2006

      My dad once asked me an interesting question. Why do young people put up pictures of strangers on their bedroom walls yet many do not even bother putting pictures of their family with similar intensity?

      I now asked, why do people put pictures of themselves and pictures of cartoons, suffering people, sceneries, nudities, or whatever, yet they do not put pictures of delicious food on Friendster?

      A friend once asked me why do I take out my anger out on the wall when the wall has done nothing wrong to me?

      I then asked, would he rather prefer I take my anger out on him?

      A friend once told me a story that someone in his internet kiosk got real mad over some stupid game and trashed the computer system. He was detained and physically forced to pay for the damages. Moral of the story: Next time bring a piece of stainless steel rod with you, and try to bend the rod with the power of your thoughts/mind whenever anger/rage is budding in your heart.

      In March of 2006, I foresaw 2007 encroaching. This is not good. It makes me feel that time seems to move much faster. Too much imagination!

      In March of 2006, I flipped my desk calendar and saw lots of cross marks with red ink marking the passing days. Occassionally I asked, have I been wasting my time?

      As I asked myself whether I have been wasting my time, I felt a certain uneasiness crawling under my skin. I felt uncomfortable.

      Whether rhetorically time moves or moves not, people come and go. You, I, might not be here tomorrow, else, definitely neither of us would be here someday. So…., what the heck have we been doing during this brief moment of existence?

      Heeee… eat sleep, eat sleep, work work, plot plot, kiss sex sex kiss, chew chew slurp slurp, do something, do nothing, do whatever. Why do we cling so dearly on things that are so fragile and so impermanent?

      I may, on occasion, ask this stupid question (I sometimes think questions like the above paragraph are somewhat stupid). However, if someone points a gun on my head, or thrust the tip of a knife on the skin of my stomach, would I not deeply desire to survive such an ordeal? Even if the thought or desire to survive the ordeal does not appear, would I not feel elated if I am to survive the ordeal? Who knows? One can ponder silly over such thing for goodness-knows-how-long, but what purpose does it serve?

      I read, listened, and watched some stuffs before regarding middle-age identity crisis. Now I wonder whether I would like to re-experience that again. The experience does not seem pleasant for me as I recalled it from years ago? I wonder whether menopause is somewhat similar to an identity crisis? Identity crisis can make a person confused, moody, distant, emotional, and insecure. How come there’s such a thing called identity crisis? Why does it exist for human beings?

      Let me see…

      Partially biologically-influenced? Hormonal imbalance, or reduction of certain things in our brain chemistry? Our bodies aged over time?

      If my wife and I wear spectacles, what’s the chances that our baby/ies gonna have poor eye-sights, too?

      I wonder whether it would taste good to mix Pocari Sweat with Coca Cola…

      Some of the company owners I’ve met have worked dozens of years in at least 1 company before they set up their own companies. I wonder whether it would take me dozens of years before I can set up my own companies. I wonder whether dozens of years later I would be as successful as they are today. Would establishing a company or companies define that I am successful? Do I personally define success as establishing and owning a company or companies?

      I think, some of us, in general, no matter which culture we are from, desire to stand on our own two feet. Especially in a materialistic world (maybe that’s not really the correct term to use), it would be more comforting and satisfying to be financially independent.

      I used to somewhat dislike married women who were snobbish/arrogant because their husbands were rich (from salaries/investments and/or family’s inheritance).

      The way I see it now, there are at least four reasons to explain snobbish/arrogant behaviour or attitude. First, the individual is insecure (or highly insecure); covering up for his/her insecurity with the superficial snobbishness/arrogance. It probably means the individual is somewhat fragile (or highly fragile) deep inside. Second, the individual is talented (or extremely gifted); belittling or looking down at other ‘lesser’ humans (vanity?).

      Third, the individual is gullible/simpleton, ignorant (choose to ignore), and/or vain. Fourth, the individual believes or perceives the pursuing of greed and/or power achieved by any means necessary as justifiable. Thus the more frequent is his/her success rate in pursuing desire and/or the achievement of more power, the individual possibly becomes more clouded (or deluded) with the believe/perception that he/she has lots of power.

      Maybe there’s fifth reason. Yet this reason is not because he/she is snobbish/arrogant. The case lies when other individuals mis-believed, mis-perceived, mis-interpreted his/her words and attitudes as snobbish/arrogant. The individual may just be the shy type of person (somewhat to highly introvert), or someone uncomfortable in terms of speaking out or ‘mingling’ with the rest of the folks. I don’t think it would be fair to accuse/judge this individual as snobbish/arrogant.

      Moral? Don’t be too hasty to accuse/judge other person. Give that person the benefit of a doubt, that’s the least you can do. Sometimes, we say and do (don’t say and don’t do) certain things that are not who we really are (or not what we really want to say or do). For example, sometimes we can feel irksome when our stomachs get hungry, and we may accidentally say or do certain thing that hurt/offend other people. In turn, other people may get confused or be liable to make a negative opinion/claim about us, when in actuality those negative opinion/claim is not who we really are.

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Andrias Y.

March 31, 2006

      piki piki ya peek-a-boo

      friki friki ya sa-sa-boo (stupid idiot!)

      c c mi mi yo-a ho ho ha

      who ha who ha da da dugk

      *sound of flushing latrine*

      ey…?

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Andrias Y.

March 31, 2006

      yang mei li de shi jie

      fei neng tz bao de bie

      in a foodstall a bento no kimchi

      say no wei-yo-wei-yo wakarimas?

      i would strutt strutt ’til no flood stops me so (read: miso)

      yetiu ponder around like some lunatics in a mall

      think u they be keen ‘nuf to stop and ask que pasa?

      who says love comes and goes, what’s in the air?

      maybe justa d’en a mix o tinky bitty flake-a-fufu-desire

      ’n puff huff stuff laugh hour hearts out, har!

      pass mi ya candlestick ‘n a match,

      pa dao jiang hu jovi bon seziz moi la vie

      and in a flicker of a second they he she it yelled

      "Cut!"

      what’s up morning glory?

      c’ya daisy charm coy!

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Andrias Y.

March 31, 2006

      To sit in a park on a bench listening to the wind

      Somaso lost in a train of thoughts that time stops still

      See kids and moms and dogs and all terrutt-tett-treett unsettled

      Whooo Haaaa! Where in public parks would one find a halcyon?

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Andrias Y.

March 31, 2006

      I have one and only one nemesis. My nemesis is known as "mosquitoes."

      My dislike for mosquitoes is quite deep. I don’t know why the heck this insect exists in this world. God and/or natural evolution must have some good reasons to allow this insect to exist. But that’s beyond me.

      Hard to admit, but I’ve come to admire one aspect of this insect. I really admire mosquitoes’ determination and persistence. No kidding! If you have not been acquainted with mosquitoes, you have to try it at least once. But watch out for the ‘malaria’ disease from mosquitoes’ infectious ‘bite’. Malaria can kill a human being. You’ll get a running fever, and usually red spots on all over your skin. You might vomit and become delirious (due to the high fever).

      Anyway, I don’t like mosquitoes. Compared to cockroaches, rats, and leeches, mosquitoes’ the worst. Mmm… I wonder whether I can withstand maggots…..? Ahhh this is very stupid! Hahahahahha.

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Andrias Y.

March 26, 2006

     Arrived in Surabaya around 9:10 p.m. (March 17), Friday. Mr. Adi’s driver picked me up and we drove for another two-hours before reaching Batu, in Malang.

     By the time I arrived there, I was too lazy to join in with the seminar. The driver and I went to a nearby warung (street side food vendor), ordered a couple of ginger coffee and noodles with eggs.

     While I was in Batu, there were three things I noticed or re-noticed. First, pine tree (pohon cemara?) is actually quite beautiful. I like the shape of the tree, the shape of the leaves, and the deep green color of the leaves.

     Second, I noticed that if there are not much pollution in the air, and if there are not too many artificial lights around, we could see the full moon’s radiating a very large circular halo-like ring around itself. While I was looking up at the moon and its halo, I recalled that many years ago during a camping trip at White Horse Lake in Arizona, I saw millions maybe billions of stars so clearly at night. I even saw six to seven shooting stars.

     The astronomists (I think that’s what they’re called) were right. There are many meteoric stones that passed by the Earth’s outer atmosphere. It is truly amazing that our Earth is not bombarded by the many meteors out in the outer space. However, if we visualized the earth’s skin and the picture of our earth’s skin since the Ice Age until the present day, I believed that there are actually many craters that were created by these passing meteoric stones.

     The third thing I noticed was, way out there in the horizon, the mist/fog that engulfed the top one-fourth of the mountain in front of me, was actually mystically alluring. Don’t know why. Gave the mountain a certain sense of mystery, a certain sense of age-old wisdom, and a certain sense of danger and balance at the same time. I liked that feelings.

     There are at least seven more places I have to visit as long as I’m still in Indonesia. They are: Lombok island, Bali island, Palembang, Gunung Bromo, Gunung Kawi, Yogyakarta, and Singkawang.

     Lombok Island. Why I wanted to visit this place? Well, someone, somewhere, a long time ago showed/gave me a postcard. In the postcard there was this fisherman in the middle of the sea, fishing. But that wasn’t what that struck me as fascinating. I was deeply immersed with the glory of the golden sunset ray that touched the convexing and concaving waves. Immersed with the reflection of the orange-golden sunset’s rays from the surface of the sea. That, imho, was very beautiful.

     Bali island. Nothing special actually. I don’t have a good reason why I wanted to go there. I was actually disillussioned with that island many years ago. Nature’s beauty, in my opinion, are those that are still untouched by the human’s hands. Maybe, I wanted to go to Bali island because of nostalgic reason. I remembered my large family in Indonesia visiting Bali when I was a kid. I remembered losing one of my sandal by the sea-shore, when a large collection of waves came and nearly dragged me with it. Thank goodness I was wearning a yellow-colored floating-thingy on both of my arms.

     Palembang. I have only one reason to return to my hometown. I have always wanted to visit the grave of a dear cousin who died years ago. He was stabbed with a poison-laced dagger by a fellow classmate. Crawled himself home, and died on his mother’s (my aunt’s) two hands. He was the only cousin I knew back then who was very kind to me. The least I can do is to visit his grave, and tell him the stories and news of my life and the world today.

     Gunung Bromo. In my mind, the mountain held a certain mystical allure. Many stories, real and fiction, have been passed down through words of mouth and in printed forms. I wanted to watch the sun rises on top of Gunung Bromo.

     Gunung Kawi. Went there with my whole family while I was a kid. Mystical place. The Sultan Hamengkubuwono (forgot which number? IX, X??) resting place was supposed to be there. I remembered that the water’s real cold, and many people were waiting whole-night through next to some kinda tree that’s supposed to drop a certain magically-infused fruit. You can’t pick the fruit from the tree, or you’ll get cursed. Logically, I think it’s just bullshit. Because hazily recollecting how the tree grew (outside the safety fence, on 45-degree slope), and that the grass/earth kinda slippery, it would be dangerous to step out of the safety fence to pick the supposedly magical fruit. Whatever. I just wanted to see how Gunung Kawi looks like nowadays.

     Yogyakarta. Historical place. Deep Javanese root here. Just want to re-experience how regular civilians and the royalties live in supposedly harmonious relationship with the mystical world and nature. If I am given the opportunity, I want to visit some of the ancient graves there. Don’t know whether that’s possible considering that some or many of the ancient graves are considered sacriligious for the folks in Jogja (or Yogya).

     Singkawang. Histories pre-dates some of the earlier arrivals of Chinese imperial envoys and merchants in this area, or nearby area. While I still have the opportunity, and while humans have not cast too graveous a change with the place, I wanted to witness firsthand the what and the how.

     Basically, those are the places I have to visit in Indonesia while I’m still alive. Actually there is another place I wanted to visit. Don’t know where it is. Maybe in Java, NTT, or Kalimantan area. There is this very pristine and very beautiful waterfall. This waterfall, imho, is so much more beautiful than the crap known as the Niagara Falls. No offense Canadians and Americans (even though the beautiful part of Niagara Falls belong to the Canadian side). Niagara Falls isn’t beautiful, it is majestic. Two entirely different things. But hey, perceptions and perspectives differ from one individual to another.

     Back in 2001, I made one goal. I have to be in the Olympic in China by 2008. I have to visit the Great Wall of China by 2008. I have to visit Emei-san (Emei Mountain), Hua-san (Hua mountain), and T’ai-san (T’ai mountain). Back in 2005, my goal could be realized, when financially I could afford to go there. However, due to unforeseen circumstances, I couldn’t.

     Now in 2006, that goal is just right in front of my eyes. Or, in other words, very close within my grasp. Realizing that my goal for 2008 is near completion, I reminded myself to prepare a different goal. So, here’s my next goal.

     By 2012, I must go to Tibet and Mongolia! I must witness firsthand the vast open pasture highland of Tibet. I’ve seen a friend’s picture many years ago. I have to visit that place. He was there on some sorta spiritual-awakening kinda deal. Don’t know whether he found what he was looking for. In my case, I just want to witness another one of God’s beauties (i.e. nature-wise).

     Why Mongolia? I lived in Arizona for more than 8 years. Although I’ve been to some other states while I was in the United States, I’ve come to love Arizona’s nature, sky, sunrise, and sunset. I don’t like cactus, I think those trees are ugly. Though I don’t like cactus, I have certain kinda respect for cactus. Why? Those ugly trees are really strong. Really got a strong character to be able to survive in such a harsh environment. So two thumbs up for cactus’ characters.

     I wanted to ride a horse in Mongolia. I wanted to see and partipate the ethnic group or groups’ dance and music by the bonfire. I wanted to experience how they live, how they hunt for their food, and how they interact.

     Actually, another interesting places to visit are border places. Border places between China and Mongolia, between Mongolia and Manchuria (old name), China and Tibet, Mongolia and Tibet. Coverages might be lacking in the border places. But I idealistically believed that there are some interesting things I can experience, learn, and witness there.

     Between 2008 to 2012, I made a sub-goal. I must visit my grandfather’s hometown in Yong-Ting county, Fu-Jian province.

     Although I was born in Indonesia, I am a first-generation Chinese-Indonesian. My mother once said that there was a place somewhere in Yong-Ting that fit exactly to a dream I once had many, many years ago. In that dream there was a clearn running river, with trees and grasses surrounding a mountain/hill. On top of that mountain/hill lies a hut. That’s just a very simplified description of my dream. But if I find out that there are a lot of mosquitoes or leeches (the real leeches and human leeches) in that area, I’m outta there before you can say "What?"

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Andrias Y.

March 26, 2006

      Strap stroff n Zan Te, Mizza zen ain’t no push ovah

      Stret Strutt frutterfoot, ain’t Cain 9 jovel be wha

      U mang cakily in summah zoon, whistletoe wif mangled Joe

      A wayfay flickerin, sighah….!

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Andrias Y.

March 17, 2006

      I am imagining the somata juxtaposed with the encephalon, and I wonder whether there is an explicator to a missing flummox.

      Would that be morphologically veridical? I wonder….

      Now it ain’t the verbosity that confutes I. Merely a nascency of my whimsical siring. No sense in peculiar. Said as come and go easily, just on the shoal.

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Andrias Y.

March 17, 2006

      I’ll be leaving for Surabaya this Friday (March 17) in a 17:45 flight from Jakarta. From there I’ll be driven to Malang, which is approximately a two-hour drive. It’s supposed to be a three-day business seminar.
      Would be returning back to Jakarta late Sunday night. *sigh* I hope I can get enough rest on Saturday night.
      3 large projects awaiting me in April. Hopefully I can hear 1 particularly good news that I’ve been waiting quietly in silence for the past few days. If it is a good news, then it’s reason to celebrate.
      There’s possibly another business meeting on the 23rd of March with a distributor from Singapore. This isn’t certain yet, ‘coz the Singaporean woman I met might have other plans. She just formed a partnership office in Medan (West Sumatera).

      Funny who knocked on the door of opportunity first. Not I. I was busy observing the cute and pretty travel agents being busy with their paper works. Actually, I wasn’t. Was anxious to get out of there quickly because I was hungry and the travel agency was quite a travel from my office. Believe u me? *wink*
      Anyway, if that 1 good news fall through before I leave for Surabaya, I am planning to travel to Medan in April. Don’t think I can make it for the camping schedule in Bali on the 28th of March.
      Other than that I would be missing the Korean lesson with Mr. B this Saturday/Sunday. I was planning to go swimming, too. Oh well, can pretty much read the Korean characters on the magazine now, but I don’t understand what the words mean.
      It turns out the Korean characters are quite easy to memorize and read. But memorizing and knowing the vocabularies and grammar are an entirely different thing. Hahaha!
      Adieu Jakarta, and hello Malang!

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Andrias Y.
March 17, 2006