Andrias Yose

      Dislike liking someone and then have to play the guessing game, or the roller-coaster-ride kinda game.
      Then, why persists on liking that person?
      Let go, and move on.
      Can’t let go, ‘coz got the feeling that person feels the same way, but don’t know how to deal with the feeling.
      What if ur wrong?
      What if that person never have that kinda feeling for you?
      Well, in that case, we know who’s the stupid fool.
      You like that someone, then say it. Liking/loving someone ain’t a sin.
      Not love yet, but somewhat strong feeling of likng that someone.
      Then? Tell. U don’t tell, u keep shrugging ur feelings for tha t someone. U keep postponing/delaying. Then one day everything’s gonna be too late, and u can’t blame anyone but yourself for letting that opportunity slips away.
      AIn’t sure, that’s why the delay.
      Ain’t sure of what? Be a man. Tell her one time, and be done with it. Ur way too afraid of being vulnerable. It’s not like the sky’s gonna drop on ur head, or the world’s gonna end if u allow urself to be vulnerable once in a while.
      Don’t like to be hurt. Don’t like to be hurt for no good reason.
      That’s selfishness. Stuffs like liking/loving someone is all about risk and taking a risk. U think ur the only one who has the likelihood to be hurt or to feel hurt. The person also has the same risk as you.
      Want to think about it a while longer.
      Don’t think too long. Life’s kinda short, and time moves pretty fast. Feelings that are not nurtured are like flowers/plants. They wither away if not nurtured or properly taken care of, ok?
      Yea, that part is understood. Thx!
      Ur welcome!
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Andrias Y.
May 1st, 2006
 

      Elsewhere in the world, May 1st is Cinco the Mayo (First of May) celebration. In Indonesia, it’s labor day. Rumour on the street for the past two weeks was that on labor’s day there’ll be a big demonstration on the People’s House of Representatives compound (DPR - Dewan Perwakilan Rakyat).
      Factory workers and so on are said to go on strike and demonstrate against the government regulation to eliminate the ‘pesangon’ or gratuity (according to Kamus Kemang’s translation). Pesangon is basically the amount of money paid to laborer upon their retiration, resignation, or dismissal. I honestly don’t know how it’s calculated, but it’s gotta do with the number of years you’ve worked for a company.
      The business owners are arguing that with the operation costs rising (minimum wage, electricity bill, water bill, transportation cost, fuel oil price, etc.), mediocre sales performance, and what-nots, the pesangon system becomes an arguably heavy burden imposed upon them.
      From the laborers’ perspective, the pesangon is their only means of life’s security and guarantee after leaving workplaces.
      Currently, the minimum worker’s wage varies from province to province. In Jakarta, the minimum wage is approximately Rp. 830,000 or US$ 92.27 (US$ 1 @ Rp.8995). In Central Java, the minimum wage is approximately Rp. 470,000 or US$ 52.25.
      Anywho, I wonder how the individual survives in Jakarta with Rp. 830,000. Monthly transportation cost alone, assuming that the individual has to take two bus rides to work, would reach at least Rp. 160,000 a month (1 bus ride is Rp. 2,000 now, so 2,000 x 4 bus rides x 20 days). If the individual takes the busway, it would cost them Rp. 3,500 per bus ride. That leaves them with only Rp. 650,000. Imagine if the individual is renting/sharing an apartment, it might well cost them anywhere between Rp. 250,000 to Rp. 350,000 per person, per month. Assuming it is Rp. 250,000, that leaves them only Rp. 400,000 a month. How about meals? If the individual eats twice a day, we can assume the two meals cost Rp. 10,000 a day. Multiply that by 20, it would be Rp. 200,000. Leaving them only Rp. 200,000. Would that be enough for them to pay for their phone bills (cell phone or fixed line)? They still need to buy soap, shampoo, haircut, and what-nots.
      It may even be worse in Central Java, no? But usually for blue-collar workers, companies usually added extra bonus for food allowances and transportation allowances. In that case, the individual may have more than enough to spare.
      Then how about those with families? Let’s assume the least worst, a husband and wife family with no children, and the wife’s not working. Next up would be two parents and a single child. And so on. You think these families would be capable of supporting their 1 child or more for a university education? I am afraid not.
      In Indonesia, the textile industry, especially, are barely struggling to survive. They have to compete with cheaper imports and illegal imports that are dirt cheaps. Further, majority of the existing textile companies have outdated machines. Factor that in with the rising operating costs, and lacklustre government supports to help this industry, it is no wonder that there are many textile and textile related product companies/manufacturers that have either closed down and moved to different industries, or have gone bankrupt.
      The pesangon system obviously benefits the laborers more, that is, if and only if, every single companies/factories/manufacturers abide by this regulation. However, the fact is, not every companies do.
      Now, if the pesangon system is scrapped for a worker that earnes Rp. 1-million and above, it would definitely be a great relief for the business owners. However, that would mean that there is no security or guarantee for the individual blue-collar worker after they leave their companies.
      The recent years have seen more companies hiring employees/workers based on contract. Permanent jobs are growing lesser nowadays. And the existing permanent jobs are kept by people with certain determinance not to let it go. Why? It’s not easy to get a permanent job, especially that provides a decent enough salary.
      The government should already know that one way or another a solution or solutions must be enacted. It must meet that middle-ground where the business owners and the laborers could agree on. Agreement such as this means that "we win some, we lose some, we can’t win everything, and surely we don’t want to lose too much" kinda deal.
      Having more foreign investors into the country might be a good thing or a bad thing. This, depends on perspective and perception. What we see here is that there’s a faction that encourages foreign investors to come in, but on the other hand there’s a faction that wants to limit or protect. Kinda like saying that the nationalists want the Indonesian citizens to benefit, yet at the same time, if too much nationalistic impositions are allowed, foreign capitals ain’t coming in as much. And we do need foreign capitals. One can’t keep depending on arts and crafts as the primary export goods to other countries. And, arts and crafts definitely ain’t Indonesia’s key export goods.
      Regarding the nationalistic aspect, I don’t think I have to touch on race issues. Whatever it is, globalization, free trade agreement, and such bring a country’s reality much more complex than simply the matter of Chinese-non-Chinese issue.
      I don’t really know 100% whether doing my job as best as I can will help this country. The role I play in all this is minutely small, or ‘very’ extremely small. So when my boss asked me which industries or sub-industries have the best potentials for South Korean companies to penetrate, I try my best (even with my ’still’ limited knowledge) to provide the appropriate replies. Foreign capital comes in, and hopefully there’ll be more advantages than disadvantages.
      The business world, I argue, is a very competitive world. Survival of the fittest, as they say. If foreign investors come in and then some local companies can’t compete, it might well be a good thing that those that can’t compete delegate the job to those who do can do it better. However, it is really up to the government, the society, and the individual to make sure that these foreign investors ain’t creating more problems (e.g. environmental degradation).

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Andrias Y.
May 1, 2006

      This blog is about the issue of "seeing things only from your own perspective."
      I won’t write too much to the point regarding this. Instead, I’ll provide examples.
      Your boss suddenly tells you that there is an important meeting that you have to attend tomorrow morning. The problem is, the meeting is held in another city, and the only way to reach that place is by plane. You call the travel agent, and they said that they can’t get you the ticket for the plane that fly today. You got agitated. You call another travel agent, and they give you the same reply. The situation continues even after you’ve called a dozen or so travel agencies. Somewhere along the line, you got so frustrated that you became rude and abusive towards one of the travel agent that you talked with. Failing to get a ticket with this method, you despaired. Then you resorted to pleading/begging. Yet you still couldn’t get the ticket. In the end, you failed to be at the important meeting, and your boss doesn’t accept your explanation and yelled and screamed at you. What’s wrong with the picture?
      Common sense tells us that the boss is unreasonable. Point taken. The boss is considering things only from his/her own perspective, and chose not to consider yours (or chose to ignore yours). But when you got abusive with the travel agent, or when you resorted to pleading and begging with the travel agent about how important the meeting was to you, aren’t you doing the same thing that your boss did to you? The meeting was important only to you, but not to the travel agent/s. You were abusing or trying to get the sympathy of the travel agent because you see things only from your perspective, but not the travel agent’s.
      The meeting was important to your boss, and since it involved your presence, you know that the meeting was important. But when you try to reason with your boss about your absence, the boss only see that you failed to deliver (you are not reliable/accountable). The boss was judging you unfairly, because s/he sees things only from his/her perspective.
      Stuffs like this happen every moment, maybe every single second. For that instance, we have executed the action of "only I matter", or, "MY stuffs are very important. Because MY stuffs are very important, I MUST get what I WANT, and YOU better give me what I WANT."
      The way I see it, there’s no need to get agitated or frustrated. The meeting is important only to me and my boss. I don’t have to be abusive or rude to others because that meeting does not matter to them. If after being polite and explaining the importance the meeting is to you to the travel agent, yet the travel agent still couldn’t get you that ticket, thank the travel agent politely, and move on. It isn’t their fault if all the tickets have been booked or sold.
      Shit happens.
      If I am the boss, and I have heard my colleague/subordinate’s explanation, and I could sense that the person is telling the truth (and also have made the best of his/her effort to get the ticket), I can understand. Of course I would feel rather upset, but not upset with him/her. It is life. You can’t always get what you want to work smoothly 100% of the time in your life.
      Rational people do make mistakes. Even the wise ones. Emotions such as agitation, nervousness, tiredness, anger, disappointment, or whatever, could transform us to act/behave/think differently compared to our normal behaviors. Further, when we are not calm and exercising our common sense, we might have the tendency to project the ugliest side of our inner self. *wink*
      In our daily lives, there are many different cases, incidents, or examples instead of the one mentioned here. So the next time something like this happens, try to remember and remind yourself that what’s important to you is only important to you, and not somebody else who is not related with you or your company/organization. If after explaining how important the matter is, yet the person still can’t help you, move on.

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Andrias Y.
April 28, 2006

      Over the past year or two, we have the Sampoerna advertisements on television stations that were, imho, quite hilarious. One of the funniest ad I personally liked was the politically incorrect ad featuring a group of Native Indians charging forward, and then there was this one guy who galloped his horse faster than the rest. Anywho he arrived first at the batteground against (possibly) a horde of Mexican cowboys with rifles and guns. The Indian guy looked back and saw that his fellows-in-arms haven’t arrive at the scene, and then scurrried back and chased by the enemies. That advertisement got a short lifetime, and I never see it anymore. Maybe they still run that ad, but I don’t watch too much television, so I don’t know.
      It was really politically incorrect, but it was darn funny.
      The more recent Sampoerna ads (sorry, Sampoerna is one of the top three cigarette companies in Indonesia) dealt with light and humorous theme by being sarcastic towards the Indonesian government in general. The ads briefly brought up some national issues, such as the flood problem, government bureaucracy, black-out (mati lampu getu loh!), and etc. I think I have better mention that these ads are not made by Sampoerna, but by advertisement agency. But who know where the people at the ad agency get the idea/s from, rite? *wink2*
      Government bureaucracy creates ineffectiveness and inefficiency. Decisions tend to be made slower. But, this problem does not exist only in government bureaucracy. SImilar issue is faced by organization, foundation, association, whatever.
      Go call a government office for information or to request that you be directed to the appropriate department, there is a likelihood that the government personnel answering the call to be somewhat of a disappointment. At times there would be a ping pong incident, where you are recommended to call a department/division, then that department/division transfers you back to where you originally called, and so on and so forth. This, for me, is annoying, but still amusing to a certain extent.
      But sometimes there would be the case where it is us that made the mistake. We approached the wrong department/division and demanded that the personnel there to assist us when in actuality they are not in charge in solving that one particular issue we brought up. In such case, it’s our mistake. Common sense dictates that we recognize our mistake, politely apologize, request for direction, and excuse ourself. Yet there would always be a certain thick-headed individual that refuses to come face to face with his/her mistake. In the end, arguments abound.
      I once went to the SofS Department requesting a particular information. Went to a particular building, a particular office, and met with a particular junior level (but old age) officer. I brought with me the official letter from office to request that particular information, and a short conversation with that officer made me realize that I wasn’t where I should be. So I asked that officer for a the correct building, office, and number. At least he was still cordial enough to tell me the right building. But he wouldn’t tell me the right office and number. He suggested I leave the official document so that he could contact his ‘appropriate’ channel of associate/s so that the official request document be passed to the right destination. Oookeeeeeeee…..
      Excused myself politely, providing a ‘build in the castle in the air’ kinda promise to him, went to the right building, observed the building/office plaque, found the right office and floor and person in charge, and my purpose is settled. Moral of the story is, if you first failed, try again, but be more creative in your second (or third or fourth) attempt. Somehow or another…., sooner or later…., you’ll come to the right place and meet the right person (hopefully).
      Ping Pong game…. *sigh*
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Andrias Y.
April 26, 2006

      I want to meet Pramoedya Ananta Toer.
      I want to meet Iwan Fals.
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Andrias Y.
April 26, 2006

      Which is better? To be a dishwasher, working 6 days a week, 10 to 12 hours a day, and get paid US$ 2,000 a month….., OR, working as a manager in an office for 5 days a week, 8 to 10 hours a day, and get paid US$ 650 a month?
      Which is better? To work as a driver, working somewhat irregular hours, and get paid Rp. 2-million (approximately US$ 200) a month….., OR, working as an accountant in an office and get paid the same amount of money working 5 days a week, 8-10 hours a day?
      Which is better? To work illegally in another country and get paid US$ 1,300 a month working 5 days a week, 10-12 hours a day…., OR, working legally in an office in Jakarta and get paid US$ 400 a month, working 5 days a week, 8-10 hours a day?
      Which is better? A lower paying job that gives you job security…., OR, a higher paying job that doesn’t give you much job security?
      Which is better? To be overworked but underpaid, yet with a job security…., OR, to be not overworked but underpaid, yet with a job security?
      Which is better? To work, or to pursue a career?
      There’s such thing called PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT in this world. Generally the reply would be, "D-u-h!" If you are the family/relative/friends of someone, and if there is a business opportunity or job vacancy, that someone’s priority is to give you a chance first. PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT is the nice way of describing it. COLLUSION, UNFAIRNESS, BIASNESS, or DISCRIMINATION is the not so nice way of describing it. The worst description is HYPOCRITE and HYPOCRISY. In Indonesia, it’s known as MUNAFIK. In local street-slang, it’s shortened as MUNAF. My position with this issue? It depends on the context. I exercise PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT based on who needs help the most and could positively gain from the opportunity. Conclusion? I am only one person, I’ll do my best as long as it does not go against my conscience or belief. But perhaps in an idealistic world, preferential treatment should go to who is most qualified first, and then who needs it the most and could treasure that opportunity. One person’s preferential treatment, another person’s unfairness. What’s fair, what’s unfair? Relative. Depends on the context. Such is the big reality, lots of grey matter. *wink*
      Consider this, China is currently the fourth most powerful country in the world. South Korea is ranked tenth. Don’t remember how the ranking was formulated, but you can find this information in an article from an established online news site. Go search in Google. Maybe it’s based on GDP…? Anyway, USA is ranked #1, Japan is ranked #2. The USA controls approximatley 80% of IMF’s decision making. Kick Freeport out of Indonesia, IMF might make things a little tough the next time Indonesia gets into another economic crisis. Though the likelihood exists, the percentage of that likelihood occurring might be small.
      If I quit smoking today, my body will be totally free from the effect and the poison approximately 8-10 years after I quit smoking. But considering the quality of the air in Jakarta, whether you smoke or not, your body still get poisoned anyway. Aha! That’s why supplement food and drinks, and health tools/equipments/machines are generally profitable business!! So, go ahead people, the more poison you chug into the air, the more profit to be earned elsewhere.
      Imagine you are living in an apartment in a high rise building/flat. Around you there are many high rise apartments/flats. Then one day you wake up in the middle of the night, and you hear and see not a single living being outside. Then you went from door to door and found nothing, not even an ant. What would be the first thought that cross your mind?
      Today while I was having my nasi padang dinner at home, I turned the TV on. There was this program on TV7 (owned by the Kompas Gramedia Group). The program that ran at that time was "Pulang Kampung" or literally means returning to your hometown (the literal translation of kampung, however, is more like a village). The program brought a husband and a wife together after several years being separated. The husband worked low-end jobs in Jakarta. The wife waited at home, barely taking care of the children (6 of her other children died early). Anyway, it was supposed to be an emotionally-charged program. But when the host lied to the woman that they couldn’t locate her husband (when in actually they did, and the husband was about to arrive home), the woman was so dejected. Suddenly the husband arrived and approached the wife. Anyway, the host later apologized to the woman, explaining that he didn’t mean to make fun of her emotions, and explained that he was actually trying to surprise her. I, strongly dislike that edition of the program (the 1st and last time I’ll ever watch that program). It’s so easy to say, "I am sorry" or "Forgive me". Shiyet! To add insult to injury, money and gifts were the medicine to soothe the feelings that you’ve played around with these poor and less fortunate people’s feelings? ‘Nuff said.
      Ok, if one person did one thing wrong, if it is not too griveous of an err, let’s forgive that person. But if that person repeatedly do wrong things, and the only thing he/she can do is say "I am sorry", "I will change", "I promise this and that", "I swear this and that", man………. shut up! Change already, ok! Stop apologizing! What’s the use of apologizing if you don’t mean it? What’s the use of apologizing if you still repeat your mistakes? Your apology would carry little to no weight at all.
      If I go to the church or temple or mosque or vihara every day, does that make me holier than thou? Does that make me cleaner than thou? Aye aye. Since when have we started judging others based on the frequency of praying and/or going to the holy houses? I thought that our relationship with God is a personal and private one. I wonder whether God judges us from human’s way of perceiving/misperceiving, interpreting/misinterpreting things?
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Andrias Y.
April 26, 2006

      Last night took a cab home. What the heck, the driver began talking about his life story about having affairs with different women even though he is married. Bla bla bla. Gee-bdui! What de hoof!

      Somewhere along the line, I summed up to 3 conclusions about that guy. A, he is just trying to kill the time while driving a passenger from one point to another. B, he’s either boasting or telling a lie for who knows what reason. C, he’s a pimp. Badabing, badabong!

       Well, at least I learned one thing new from him. He talked about this sex pill or something like that, called "urat madu". Never heard of it. He said that it’s like viagra, only much cheaper. Wait! I made a mistake. I think I learned two things.

       The second thing he said that kinda make me think was when he said sometimes there are women who would make the initiative to invite the men to the hotels for sex. My reaction? One semi-raised eye-brow, the other eye? Half-closed.

       Hey, it’s Jakarta! Ain’t no big a surprise at-all. Sex for money, or sex for lust, whatever.

       Lots of people carry skeletons in their closets. Well, for those of u who don’t know what this means, it simply refers to that dark secrets that you kept hidden deep inside you. Lots of people got that. I think when u carry too much of that crap deep inside u for too long, and u keep storing and carrying it with u wherever u go, maybe one day u can wind up a nut case.

       U know, like the mentally insane people. Some of them are the victims of their skeletons in the closets. When they can’t handle their shadows anymore, they break down, and went berserk. I think that German proverb "what’s the use of running when you are not running in the right direction" just adds the right tickling effect in this case.

      Machiavelli (spelling?) was one such guy that uses sex and torture in search of the depth of the human’s psyche. Talk about sex and torture, I wonder whether Sigmund Freud theorized whether there’s a causal-effect relationship between sex and torture a hundred years ago..?

      Anyway, the Indonesian’s TV programs and advertisements are selling more sex nowadays. Even advertisements targeting teenagers are using sex as a sub-conscious or semi-conscious strategy. Oh yea, whoever made those ads know what and how they’re trying to sell.

     Jakarta has lots of place to find someone to have sex with. Bars, nightclubs, cafe, bowling alley, shopping malls, spa, massage parlour, restaurant, whatever. Maybe the only thing Jakarta doesn’t have is a tent set up in public where girls are wearing see-thru white gown to attract customers.

      I forgot where I read this, it’s about the price tag that girls put on for their virginity. I think it was a newspaper article or a thesis written by a professor or something. Anyway, one of the core points of the writing was that virginity is unconsciously or (somewhat) unknownly traded by many as a commodity. I don’t know whether that’s perfectly correct or perfectly incorrect, but if I follow the argumentative points from the writing’s pespective I understand how virginity is likened to a commodity. It’s like sayin’ some girls place a very high price tag before they relinquish their virginity, or like sayin’ some guys are willin’ to pay a very high price to claim the virginity. Like a diamond ring, yacht, bungalow, a luxury sedan, whatever. The attraction? Well, virgins are unspoilt, untouched, fresh, new, holier, cleaner. Shiyet!

       Vanity is a vice. Well, yea, and at times vanity sells big time, too. But the way I see it, wanting to be appreciated and being vain has a very thin separating line. The media (e.g. radio, TV) often tries to tell u what’s beautiful, and what’s not. What’s handsome, what’s not. What’s acceptable, what’s not. Take a look at an Indonesian health supplement drink advertisement as an example…

      Two guys in the swimming pool. Sexy girls wearing bikini all around. One of the guy is ’subjectively’ portrayed as more handsome than the other. Yet when the other guy that is ’subjectively’ portrayed as slightly less handsome got out of the swimming pool, all the eyes (the girls’ eyes and the other guy’s eyes) turned directly to the 6-pack muscle-tight abdomen.

      The guy then walked confidently away from the swimming pool, approached a supposedly ‘catch’ of a woman. Leaned his head to her ear, whispered something, and got the woman smiling. Well, we don’t know what the heck he said to the girl, but automatically some/many of us would assume that he might have said "let’s have sex," or, "I want you, baby," or, "come up to my hotel room, the number is xxx." Siyeet!

      The ad promotes the product by suggesting attraction of the opposite sex, acceptance, to a certain sense power over attractive women, and of course sex itself. Manipulative. The ad concluded with a woman’s voice saying, "whoever says that being skinny is attractive?" Very detrimental and manipulative psychological and emotional statement there. I strongly dislike that ad.

      I think I would not be too far off the mark when I say that some of those who never had sex before are very curious what sex is, or how sex feels. Some people have had sex when they were younger. Some have had sex when they’re 13 years old, some when they were 19 years old. You might have known or heard many stories from friends, relatives, or maybe from your own life where girls had sex because they were curious, rebellious, and/or because they loved their boyfriends so much.

      Then when they broke up, or when the guys broke up with the girls, the girls got upset and regretted their decisions prior.

      Back to virginity as a commodity. There are guys who would pay high prices to have girls’ virginity. There is actually a market for virgin girls/women in this world.

      Don’t know about elsewhere in the world, but here in Indonesia, I’ve heard and watched on TV stories of newly married couples divorced just because the husbands found out the wives ain’t virgin anymore. Shiyet! Told you! Depending on how one looks at it, virginity can be perceived as a commodity (or a highly-priced commodity).

      Companionship, too, can be perceived as a commodity. I wonder whether true love can also be perceived as a commodity?

      One thing for sure, writing a more formal, a more structured, and a more analytical piece on the issue of sex, virginity, perception, media, and advertisement probably won’t get me anywhere. Besides, there are lots of good books that have covered the issues already (I think).

      Well, it’s 5:08 a.m. now. I have used up my break, gotta return back to my work. Stuffs that go on in my brain, as usual. Random thoughts deal.

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Andrias Y.

April 21, 2006

      For some reasons or another I felt like doing this right now.

      Bwa Wa HA ha Ha HAWHAahwa hwahhhahahahwhhwwahha

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Andrias Y.

April 21, 2006

      I’ve been playing console games since I was in the fifth grade (Sekolah Dasar Kelas 5, getu loh!). Nintendo was my first, Super Famicom or SNES was my second, Sega 8-Bit was my third, Sega 16-Bit was my fourth, PC Engine or Turbo Grafx was my fifth, Neo Geo was my sixth, Playstation was my seventh, Nintendo 64 was my eight, and Playstation 2 was my ninth.

      Between my seventh and my ninth, I picked up PC (personal computer) games. First PC game I played was Sim City and a space-plane-shooting thingy (forgot the name, dude!). Actually, that’s wrong. The first PC game I played was Solitaire. Haha!

      In 2003, I got acquainted with MMORPG. An online game where hundreds and thousands of players can play at the same time. Xian the Great Merchant was my first MMORPG. My second was Pangya. Now, I’m playing Seal Online when I got the free time.

      I like to play games on occassion, especially when I’m in the mood. It’s an escape from reality. I don’t have to worry about much things in the virtual world. But, given a choice, I would still prefer spending time with my girlfriend or wife rather than playing games.

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Andrias Y.

April 19, 2006

      What if you like a girl, but before you get the chance to fully express your feelings, she hurt your feelings several times? Would you still want to let her know about your feelings for her (with/without telling her about the hurt part)?

      What if you are actually a real nice person deep inside, but because you are the introvert and cautious type (to guard your feelings), some people judged you as haughty, proud, unfriendly, or weird? Would you feel sorry for yourself, or feel sorry for those who misunderstood you? Or, would you do something else?

      What if you are too thick-headed/stubborn/opionionated that you didn’t realize that you’ve began to think your thoughts/ideas are the best things on earth, when in reality they aren’t? Would you choose to consider other’s opinion, or would you keep on ignoring other’s opinion and persist on your own opinion? Or perhaps, you would synergize your opinion and other’s, and find something totally better from the two?

      What if you are working in the office, and then while you are walking here and there for quite a while in the public you suddenly realized that your zipper is unzipped (for men)? Man, it happened to me at least on two different occasions! I tell you, luckily nobody noticed (at least, that’s what I thought)! Hahahaha.

      What if you and your partner are having sex in the bedroom, when suddenly someone (your room mate, friend, sibling, or whoever) enters the room and catches both of you in the act? Would you and your partner act exactly like a pair of stray cats caught in the act, hold your positions and stared at the unwelcome bystander? Or, would you continue humping and grinding like there’s no tomorrow? I wouldn’t want to be caught with my pants down (although there’s a possibility that I have been caught with my zipper down at least on one occasion, hahaha).

      What if someone you know have been irking you to the point of you deeply wanting to kiss that someone, yet you keep controlling yourself not to proceed with the rash act? Would you hint that someone what you feel/think? Or, would you keep still and hope the feeling/thinking disappears? Or…, would you vent that desire elsewhere (like kissing the tree, for example)?

      What if you learn that the stuffs you thought of about something or someone were wrong? Would you slap yourself silly for being stupid? Or would you shrug your shoulder, and proceed with your life never learning to change that bad habit of yours? Or…, would you introspect, mull it over, and decided to do something to change your bad habit of misjudging/misinterpreting others?

      What if you have been given the revelation of ‘one week life at the most’ by your doctor? Would you waste that one week by doing all the stuffs that you were afraid to do in the past? Or, would you choose to write all there is to write about your whole life?

      What if you have one week to live, and then you decided to tell that special someone whom you actually like/love but never got the courage to hint/impress/tell the person? Would you think the reaction would be of displeasure, sadness, happiness, disgust, anger, or something else?

      What if you and your loved ones are caught by some evil people, and these evil people gave you and your loved ones only one choice to be free. That is, they order you to shoot (with a gun) another group of family (two parents, and two children). Would you pull the trigger and kill that family? What would you do?

      What if one day you came to a situation when you needed money so very desperately, would you sell your soul/conscience for money? Would you sell your body? Would you engage trafficking drug? Would you sell your girlfriend/wife? Would you steal from your loved ones (family, boy/girlfriend)? What would you do?

      The question of ‘what if’ and ‘what would you do’ have endless variations. Life, at times, ain’t as simple as some of us wanted it to be. Maybe the maxim, "be like water" has a ring of truth after all.

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Andrias Y.

April 19, 2006